Coaching is not just about actions—it’s about how you make others feel through the experience. At its core, coaching is a profound gift of love, a practice that places the coachee’s thoughts and needs before your own. Through this approach, we, as coaches, create a space where individuals can reflect, think deeply, and set meaningful goals. Coaching is about more than providing answers or strategies—it’s about empowering others to find their own answers in a supportive, nonjudgmental space.
When we coach with love, we give the coachee the opportunity to explore their thoughts and challenges in a way that feels safe and affirming. Teachers and instructional leaders are often under immense pressure and face ever-growing demands. Coaching can become their sanctuary. It offers them a moment to pause, reflect, and clear the mental clutter that gets in the way of their progress. Coaching allows them the time and space to breathe, think, and problem-solve with a trusted partner who believes in their potential.
To truly embody this gift of love, coaches must refine certain skills that cultivate trust, empowerment, and self-discovery. These skills not only create a safe space but also guide the coachee toward growth and self-discovery. Four key coaching skills coaches must develop and refine include Listening, Asking Powerful questions, Paraphrasing and summarizing, and Noticing.
The first coaching skill is listening. Intentional listening creates space for the coachee to think deeply and process their thoughts. By managing silence and refraining from completing sentences, coaches allow the conversation to unfold at the coachee’s pace
Asking powerful questions is another essential skill. Thoughtful questions help the coachee gain clarity, identify solutions, and take actionable steps. Closed, open, and leading questions can be used intentionally to encourage self-reflection and problem-solving.
When coaches paraphrase and summarize, they repeat what the coachee has said. This helps the coachee hear their own words, solidify their understanding, and ensures alignment between coach and coachee. It also keeps the conversation on track and demonstrates that the coach is actively listening
Noticing is a subtle yet essential skill that enhances the coach’s awareness of both verbal and non-verbal cues. By being fully present and aware of body language, energy levels, and expressiveness, coaches can adjust their approach to match or balance the coachee’s emotional state, making the conversation more meaningful.
When coaches refine these coaching skills, coaching becomes less transactional and moves toward true partnership where the coachee is seen as an equal, voice and choice is valued, and the coach learns with the expertise that the coachee brings into the conversation.
This partnership offers the gift of reflection, being heard and understood, and gaining clarity on how to solve their problems—ultimately paving the way for their own transformation.
This is the gift of coaching. This is the gift of love.
About the Author
Coming from a family of educators, Christina Ortega has devoted her career to public education for over 20 years in various capacities. She started her career as a Special Education Teacher teaching full-time learning support students. Christina then transitioned to the regular education classroom where she gained teaching experience at the elementary and middle school levels.During her time as a classroom teacher and tenure as a technology facilitator, she found her passion for coaching and high impact instruction. In this role, she learned, implemented, and promoted blended learning with high impact instructional strategies in her building and district by way of professional development sessions and facilitative coaching capacities.
Christina transitioned into a full time Instructional Coaching role serving teachers at K-12 levels. It was in this role that she deepened her understanding of the Instructional Coaching Group and their resources as she transformed the district’s coaching program.
Today, Christina is a district level administrator as the Elementary Curriculum and Instruction Coordinator where she continues to expand her impact of empowering and equipping teachers, instructional coaches, and leadership teams with high effect instructional strategies for all students.
Christina lives in Hershey, PA with her husband, daughter, and their chocolate lab, Beauty.
Christina’s favorite quote: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Dr. Maya Angelou
Contact Information
Email: cortega@instructionalcoaching.com
